Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't, sometimes I can't

Sometimes it's easy to get going and I have all the energy in the world to do the thing I want to do. Sometimes it takes a whole heap of effort and talk in my head to get me to take a small step towards what ever it is.

Sometimes it just doesn't happen. Wish I knew the secret. 

Faceless portraits can be fun

Waiting for the Good Fairy?

I wish a fairy would come and wave her  magic wand.

It’s an idea of which I am  rather fond.

But this doesn’t ever happen.  I’ve realised you see -

this fairy that I’m waiting for Is really, really me        

Anne Holloway 

Are you happy to just muddle through or are you looking for clarity and direction?

Some things I enjoyed this week

One of the stages at Rainbow Serpent Festival 2015

all in the perspective


hallelujah with a twist


who knew bananas could be this much fun


discover your life purpose

frozen bubbles

morning routines

Are you on the stairway to heaven or the highway to hell?

Vision, current reality, bridge

One of the talks I listened to at the Rainbow Serpent Festival  was "Living your vision" by Mel Dobra.

The first exercise was to write down your vision for a particular aspect of your life. (This exercise can be done over and over for different visions) .

My first vision was around my spiritual self. I wanted to listen to spiritual music as a daily practice, meditate regularly, dance to tribal music regularly to reduce my inner restlessness, attend more workshops like this regularly with like-minded people so I don't forget. My vision also included taking regular small breaks away to break the cycle of being in one place too long I am not getting variety regularly - mI need to be part of the world outside my small town.

This doesn't seem a very big vision really - just make some practical changes and do it.

The second exercise was to write down the current reality around my vision. The words that came to mind were closed, locked, blocked. constricted, restricted, shut in, disorganised and settling. Not a very inspiring list at all. T his list really took me aback when I compared it with my vision in the previous exercise

The third exercise was to build a bridge from my current reality to my vision. The list that came to mind was small daily meditations, listening to spiritual music daily, arrange some small 3 or 4 day trips away, add a work-shop or retreat 3 or 4 times a year, more new healthy eating recipes and connect with more like-minded people this way or online.

 I have done some online e-courses, The sacred alone and Blogging from the heart that have also incorporated facebook group and was blown away by the comments, support and encouragement from other course members from all around the world - these facebook groups are still open for ongoing support and connection.

As I said in a previous post, I feel like I have been slowly starving not knowing how to nourish myself in my current reality


The bridge concept relates beautifully with the 'Bring the rainbow to me ' concept and I have been listening to spiritual music and feel so much calmer - just need to keep incorporating more Rainbow ideas. I have also painted some of our recycled bits and pieces outside to get away from the worn, tired look and introduce more colour and decoration - more in line with some of the recycled decorative ideas at the festival - feeling so much better - still not sure what is happening but just adding bits to my day that seem to provice nourishment

Everything is changing

Some different artwork ideas are appearing now

Go there. Be there.

The serpent on the Rainbow Serpent Festival totem

Not sure what has happened in the last few days but I have been waiting for a long time now for some sort of realisation or perspective change and now I seem to have it (thank goodness). For the last 5 years I have been attending the Rainbow Serpent Festival and only this year I realised what I was really looking for in being at  the festival - the colour, the people, the music, the decorations, the food stalls and the atmosphere of friendship, goodwill, inspiring conversation and belonging.

 I live in Lexton Australia where the festival is held in the middle of a 200 acre sheep property in a valley with glorious red-gums and have been helping out with our Community stall at the festival and getting a ticket in lieu of my contribution. This year I did not have a ticket on the Friday the festival started and got myself in a "tizz" not wanting to have to ask for the ticket when the stall organisers were busy ( a whole other story).

Not getting the ticket really brought home how much I valued the festival and the thought of missing out almost sent me spiralling especially as a friend had their ticket for the Friday opening and I was left at home while she involved herself in the opening ceremony and smudging and had some beautiful photos to show me when she arrived back at my home 7 hours later.

I realised I wanted to be a part of it this year - a real part of it not just an observer taking photographs and standing watching the dancers moving to the music and looking at the recycled creative decorations.

 We live in an eclectic house with an eclectic garden made up of mostly recycled materials that we collect and play with. This mirrors so much of what the festival offers too.

Something clicked - something in my head said (and keeps saying) "bring the rainbow in to me".

I have taken this to mean - to create everything I love about the festival in my own day to day life

Up until now I realise I have been an observer of wonderful things happening at the festival and not a participant. I take photos, dance a little bit on the side – move and sway really – eat the lovely food and watch others having an amazing personal, spiritual like experience while I am on the sidelines looking on, watching.

I have not really, really participated yet know that this festival represents things I truly need in my life day to day – meditation, colour, creativity, beautiful simple food, interesting, thought provoking, life changing conversations.

Whatever I enjoy at the festival I need create for myself but also recognise it for the soul or spirit food that it is and what I so need and what I have been longing for.

Creativity and real living needs nourishment to sustain it. I feel like I have been slowly starving, not knowing how to feed myself for some time now.

Funnily enough, the first thing I did was to meditate to some music I already had downloaded as part of what I call a 'Gathering process' about 3 months ago. I felt an immediate internal shift-  I feel less restless and more grounded. 

One of my visions of how I have been wanting my my life to look was  seeing myself as a person who starts and ends the day with meditation and consequently is/feels more calm and more centred.

It has only been 3 days but it now seems right and fitting. The music I previously gathered is perfect. I have added this music to my Iphone and it is now available any time, anywhere I need it.

This is just my first step……………………………………but it feels so good to have been able to take it at last.

The music that I had previously gathered is  Rama da sa ……and ……May the long time sun

I have realised that  I had felt so empty of nourishment, knew what I needed but it was too hard to do. This all now seems so much easier

As my friend Lisa advised – possibly the Rainbow Serpent Festival is not about being there all the time but being able to tap into the spirit of everything that is possible when exposed to it physically, spiritually and psychologically.

The adventure will continue 

Surprising connections across the great divide

 

While gathering my journals and writing tools together to enable me to keep them together when I am not at home I made the most amazing connection. I 'rediscovered' and repurposed my Dad's work case (he died over 30 years ago). It has a removable file case in it to hold lots of creative bits and pieces.

 

I also have repurposed my Mum's compendium that she had before she was married ( in 1952) as it has her maiden name initials embossed on it. Mum died 2 years ago in June. This compendium is the most handy size to have with me every day to hold a notebook to capture thoughts, words and sayings.

 

I have also added their magnifying light in to the case as well as sometimes by the end of the day writing is harder to read! This has been the loveliest connection imaginable. I am wondering what Mum used it for when she was young as later in life it was for bill paying. Funnily enough when I recently acquired reading glasses I resurrected Mum's cases that I also kept and am now using these as the ones supplied were too bulky for the bag I use daily - lovely how this has all worked out

Are you panicking at the thought of an exhibition of your work or relaxing, enjoying and learning from the experience?

This is my stand at the Gallery, my first time in a public setting. The experience taught me quite a few interesting things.

1. It was not as scary as I thought it would be as I shared the venue with 7 other co-workers who are creative in their home time away from work.

2. The artwork was quite varied and so was intriguing to look around the displays and see quite different works from paintings to my books to sculpture to beautiful cut paper work to cartoons, paintings and eclelctic pieces.

3. Friends, family and co-workers were very supportive of the experience. A friend even gave me flowers at the preview night which was just perfect.

4. It was novel for the other gallery contributors as well to be in a combined showing

5. It was not life and death to be seen for what I do and who I am.  It did not change my life in a day but contributed to my life experience.

6. It galvanised me into looking at some of my car photos - rusty old steering wheels and car wheels - and  getting them framed and hung gallery style in our home ready for any future options or showings

My first gallery experience

 

The invitation to the gallery and some of the cups display of my "Are you serious?" cards and my "Pour yourself a cup of..........cards?

One word for 2013 - Unafraid

 

photo found on http://www.facebook.com/TheIDEAlistRevolution

 

I saw this video one word and was inspired to think of a word for 2013

 - my word is - UNAFRAID - I have courage but I need to stop pre-empting where and when I might need to use it

I need to trust that when and if "IT happens" - I will handle it( as I have so many times before)

Some definitions  for unafraid:-
oblivious of dangers or perils or calmly resolute in facing them
free from fear or doubt; easy in mind
Feeling, exhibiting, or expressing no fear 

As part of being unafraid versions of both of my Are you serious? books have just gone to
The Rainbow Serpent Festival - looking forward to what unfolds

Some things to remember

 

I love photographing rusty old cars and making art

It's good to try new things - love jen gray - she started the interest in blogging for me - interesting she popped up in an example of videos for this course I am doing at the moment

Make it happen

How to be alone

Typewriter as art

Ironing as art

Are you focussed or easily distracted?

 So many aspects to this photograph 

One of my favourites

Resistance

Been feeling a lot of resistance lately. I have been trying to figure out why it drains me of energy and I can't remember my passion - it disappears. I tend to not plan and feel that this is a huge problem as I drift between all sorts of things and projects during the day, which I now better understand is Resistance. I also tend to want to do too many things and don't choose to sit and complete or work on one for a period of time. They all seem to compete and nothing substantial is done. Possibly something to do with being a Gemini?  I don't like planning and have never really been one - except for practical things - not for creative things ...mmmmm. I find I am writing more lists lately of things to do and that need to be done if I am to move forward creatively and therefore personally. I am enjoying reading The War of Art and finding strategies to become more structured in my creative time. Partly I feel that this is not my "job" and I "should" be doing something more "productive" or helping in our garden etc . not "playing" ....mmm again. I need to rethink my perspective on what I enjoy doing!!

A good thing though is that I did receive my "business" cards, magnets and note pad that i had to work through in a previous post "what is going on?"    I feel the words "business cards" are the wrong words to use at this point - I will remove the word business and just call them cards as they can be given out for a number of reasons - not just "business".

I feel better about this now.

What is going on??

Not sure what's happening right now. Yesterday I decided to create  a business card based around "Are you serious?" with my name, photo, email address and blog address. I thought it would be a good idea as I am meeting different people now I am on long service leave and after talking to them they are often curious about my blog and my book blog and this is a way of networking and letting them have a look at what I do. As I was creating it through www.vistaprint.com I felt my inner critic rise. Who do you think you are? Who is interested in what you do? Who will buy your books? What do you think you are doing? You will be a laughing stock. How pretentious etc.  I sat with the voice and kept going. I have used the picture that is on my blog - the one of me sipping from a bottle of beer. Again the voice rose - what kind of picture is that?  What will people think ..... ongoing. I like that photo. I am not a beer drinker normally but it was a very hot day and I was at the Lexton family fun day and someone took this photo. I don't seem to be photogenic but this side on view intrigues me. I like it. So I continued on and ordered the cards.

Today I went to pick up my master copy of my second book from Cheryl - a hairdresser - who has ordered more than 20 of my books as gifts and she ordered 3 more of "Are you serious?" version 1 and pre-ordered 2 copies of "Are you serious?" version 2 which is still to be printed. Last week I had sold her 2 copies and another friend sold 1 as well.

 

For some reason I am not believing in myself and need to find out why - this will be ongoing - if anyone reads this and can offer any comment or advice I would greatly appreciate it

Trust where life takes me

 

I have now started an online video making class via http://www.viviennemcmaster.com - Montage. I am looking forward to doing something new with all the things I love doing - words, pictures and music but still need to trust in the process that this is what i am meant to be doing and not feeling guilty for getting lost in the pleasure of it all while other areas of my life fall a little behind. Also this does not feel like work so is a kind of guilty pleasure feeling - need to get the perspective right and enjoy doing what I enjoy doing because i get so much pleasure and fun out of it and use my imagination as well .

Rusty cars and steering wheels

 

Two things I am serious about taking photos of -

 

Not sure why

 

Old rusty cars come up beautifully with a little bit of contrast that brings out colours in the rust and makes me feel  surprised and somehow calm .

 

Steering wheels??  

 

Who's driving and where am I headed?   Or - am I waiting for some direction at the moment as I seem to have lost motivation after my week of being ill?

Are you at a standstill or sitting still taking stock?